I could never go to a therapist that doesn't allow some form of contact outside of session, like you say the majority of therapy goes on outside that 1 hour in session. I really need that support the few days after.

I don't think it's something we can or should ever make therapists do. There would be no point in outside contact with a T who wholly resented it. I think Therapists should be able to choose what's best for them, what they can cope with comfortably. But equally a client can vote with their feet. If they don't like a "no outside contact rule" then go find a therapist who does offer it.