I know this is going to sound impossible and feel even more impossible, but find a way to get out of this relationship. What you describe is a lot like my marriage! Things don't get better... these men get more controlling, but nothing will ever be their fault. They tear you down, then give you just enough to keep you hanging on to hope of change. They're manipulators. Even when you know this in you're mind, it's nearly impossible to break away.

I'm not trying to upset you, and am so so sorry. I just hate the thought of anyone else having the kind of 'relationship' I have. I made my bed...but you still have a chance.