So I bought a book managing anger with cbt for dummies...the dummies books are always so funny. So I'm reading along you know like 2-3 pages in in just the general background section and for some reason it clicked in my brain that I am really angry at having been sick and that I never really got to express it. I mean sure I thought it was unfair but I was so drugged up on APs that all my actual I think legitimate anger was never expressed. I think that is why the forum has been a little triggering lately...I mean I'm just getting my emotions back to their normal strength and that was the first one that cropped up...and honestly I think I'm angry that all of you are sick and dealing with this ***** too. Because it's not even remotely fair that this should happen to any of us....it's like I thought I could just fix everything somehow but really that's not always going to be the case it's possible that things can't be fixed using the tools we have have now and that's incredibly frustrating for me both as a person and as a scientist. I need to find a new balance with this so I may be in and out for a while.