I actually remember my 2nd session with LCM. I told her I was having SI urges. She took me in another room and said "the hospital told me you like to color". I said I do. She handed me some crayons and some paper and told me to. I did. She asked me questions and I spun them around back at her. I played this little game I play with all of my new therapists to help me figure out what they are willing to do and how quick and confident they are to respond to me without 1) letting me dominate the conversation 2) getting nervous and recoiling or 3) getting annoyed with my willingness to give them hell. I need a T that will let me disagree and will meet me at my level. If she gets frustrated chasing me in circles, then I can't work with her longterm.
T: "how does that make you feel?"
Me: "I don't know. How does that make you feel?"
T: "it makes me feel like you are feeling quite defensive. Why do you want to know how I feel about you claiming not to know how you feel?"
crap like that