I now have three in person consults booked, for Friday, Saturday, and Monday...and getting cold feet. I don't want to leave current T! I am...fond...of her. (Possibly because it's been a week since I've seen her and it will be another week before I do, as she has come down with the flu. So has mentor figure this week, so I haven't had to deal with either of them, which is both a relief and anxiety-provoking.)

I like current T. She isn't necessarily good for me, but I like her. Irrationally. And part of me feels like I'm betraying her by seeing other Ts without telling her, even though she's the one that suggested it and I was going to tell her tomorrow at our now-cancelled session. I will have done all the consults by the time I see her next week.

I know I don't need to leave her; I can see her and another T or I can consult these Ts and not make my first real appointment for a few weeks. I can see what's out there and go at my own pace. But it just feels wrong.

One more thing - can you bring a pen and paper and take notes during the consults? I want to do that, but I don't want to look more neurotic than I actually am, since this might affect whether a therapist believes they will be able to help me or not.