I am sorry things are rough right now. Your post strikes a chord with me because I am stuck in neutral too. I am basically high functioning, and they will take my disability away soon. I am stuck in fear of the future and what will happen to me.

Everyday is totally uneventful. Get up, eat, lay down, go on the internet and watch tv. That's my entire day, every day. I wake up at 4pm with the entire day gone, while I stay up till 6am. My sleep is medicated. I am medicated. If I didn't have my pdoc and therapist I would live in fear that my symptoms of bipolar will come back. The past 10 years have been a blur of bipolar, car accidents and 7 years of laying in bed. Literally 7 years of just laying in bed. I have no will to get out of bed or do anything, yet I am considered to be high functioning. I am in a desolate limbo, with no hope, and no dreams. Just stuck. Perpetually stuck.

You are not alone in feeling this way. Not at all. And I hope you do feel better soon