Hello,
Here is my background:
-I am a 26 year old female with a 24 year old sister. Growing up, my sister was most certainly the golden child and still is. She can do no wrong. I remember my parents telling us that one year she would get a b-day party and the next I would. Well every time it was supposed to be my turn, my parents would say that I already had a party and throw a party for my sister. I probably got two b-day parties growing up. (which is now the least of my worries)

-She would start fights with me/provoke me yet my parents would get upset at me at/blame me. Now I wasn't a perfect child and there was times I was most certainly to blame but what angers me is they never EVER blamed my sister and they still don't.

-There was "family secrets" the my parents and sister knew but I was never told. I still don't know.

-Parents said they won't pay for our college education. I took out loans, got scholarships and worked full time to get my education. My parents contributed a rather large amount towards my sister's education. When I confronted them, they told me they never told me they wouldn't help us.

-My sister maxed out her first credit card and my parents paid it off for her.

-My parents call my sister every week yet I have to call them or they only call twice a year.

-Left out of family events or told very last minute. Yet if I were to leave her out of something, she'd have a fit.

-My sister is always competing with me. If I achieved something, her achievements are better. If I am going through something difficult, she has it worse.

-She says rude/sarcastic put downs/comments. Is very passive-aggressive. She is VERY sensitive to criticism.

-When I confront her, on rare occasions, she accuses me of being a liar and remembering history wrong/distorting history. Tells me I'm ungrateful for everything yet she fails to acknowledge how I have helped her. I don't understand because she was always expecting my parents to cater to her and still does. So I don't see how I'm the ungrateful one.

-Accuses me of being thin skinned and that I need to grow a back bone. That I start everything and that I need to build a bridge and get over it.
-I live on my own now and have a great career. My sister is married and she too has a great career.

I don't know what is up with my family. I have walked around with anger, anxiety, and an unresolved/empty feeling most of my life. The thing is, I don't know if I'm paranoid/selfish/ungrateful or if it's my sister/parents.

Any advice? Any similar stories? How to manage anger towards family? (sorry so long)