I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your meds.

I'm 34 but I'm not on any meds but I probably should be maybe. But, I don't have the money for it.

If the meds are causing you physical pain and dizziness then you need to make this really clear to your doctor. Or, if you are taking illegal drugs, well, it could be those like you say. I don't know much about meds or drugs.

But, I know what it's like to be suicidal and I tell you that I fight with sucidial thoughts and have survived many attempts, starting when I was 12. It's a hard battle. It's not one that will go away necessarily if you have no meds. Suicidal thoughts are like a cancer. They live inside you and either you're in remission from them or you're strugglign with them. I've pretty much over come it in the fact that I can fight them off pretty good, but I still have them. You can't stop fighting them for one second or they will drag you down. I understand that and how hard it is and it's exhausting sometimes.