I know the feelings you write about all too well - hating life, it's all my fault, useless, weak. This is, for me, the depression talking. I am stuck in a business that I can't get out of. About 6 months ago, I had a job that I enjoyed, but quit to return to a family business. Depression is absolute misery. I'm limping through it with the aid of medication and therapy. I post on here because I get some relief from my depression through this. Best to you.