Unfortunately the awareness of them doesn't seem to have that effect..I do sometimes wonder why. I am aware its a lot of stuff that gets internalized and even specific things that are more internalized things that I don't actually believe...but being aware of it doesn't seem to make it go away.

I think that is what makes it so frusterating, no matter how much I know from a logical perspective that such garbage is not actually what I agree with...I mean I don't think I am lazy and need to try harder I know I have various problems that make things difficult but I don't know that sort of crap still gets stuck in my head so then I don't know what to think.