My offense was going to dinner with her and being basically disinterested and aloof. I had met up with her, she was in a good mood despite a busy day and was interested in unwinding with me. I showed her little attention, didn't order food even though she did, and gave little eye contact. I was certainly a bore.

I genuinely have got better: not just being more attentive at dinner or some event where anything less is just plain rude, I've learned to be attentive when we're just at one of our places. When she's stressed, I turn off all distractions and focus on her. I allow her to talk. She ends up kissing me and telling me how sweet I am. I can't believe I didn't understand how powerful this was earlier.

I can't justify how I acted with my friend. It was inexcusable. It was a total anomaly, and I'm disgusted she got pulled into it. I didn't attack her personally but I acted like some 16 year old punk: being a jerk to people, yelling in a public place, looking at my phone, overall toxic albeit never to her personally. I haven't been that guy in years. Something came over me fraternizing with my best friend I hadn't seen 2 years. Again, this just isn't excusable though.

The gift wasn't meant to be in replace of an apology, which she deserves; it was meant to be something small to help her relax as I knew I deserve to be absent from her life for a couple days. I'm still waiting to give the apology in person.

I just want to apologize and tell her she can have as much time to decide as she sees fit, if ever.

Thanks for your response.