Quote:
Originally Posted by Alishia88
OpenEyes, I found your reply interesting and true.
I never thought about much about the importance of the person in front of you when you talk about past traumas. I pretty much thought it doesnīt matter as long as it gets out.
Iīve written on this forum about my difficulties with really expressing "full emotions" when talking about things and not trying to swallow them down.
I think it might have a connection to my feeling that my therapist does not seem to "have things in her hands". I mean that, having things in her hand, in a positive way. Not as if I donīt want to be in control myself. But I think when you feel that your T knows what she is doing/seems competent and sure of herself etc, itīs easy to "be weak" and let your guards down for some time and cry.
On the opposite, if you feel that youīre more in the know of things than the other person, like when talking to a child, I couldnīt let emotions flow like that. Because I donīt feel "safe" with a child to be "strong" for me or something. I donīt know if that makes sense and got out the way I meant it...
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Yes, it makes sense. If you have someone that is competent, it is easier
to let things out knowing that as you do that you "can" get emotional. My therapist has helped me get to the point where I can talk and be ok if I get emotional. In fact, what he does is he is so good at it that he knows when
to stop me and have me pay attention to how my emotions slowly calm down
and I have the ability to have more control. He wants me to recognize that
as I allow myself to let these emotions out, I actually get to a point where
I gain from the release.
I think that at least for me, I had to often "hide" my emotional challenges when I was little. I think that when that happens, children don't develop
understanding their emotions as well. Children are designed to react when
something happens that hurts or frightens them and run to their nurturer for comfort. If that presence is not there for them, they end up not processing the emotions correctly. A competent therapist will understand that and will
realize how much a patient will need to finally just be able to release and process what they didn't get the chance to do when they needed to. It doesn't matter whether the patient is male or female either.