I think the only person who is in charge of their gender identity (not choice wise, we are who we are) and how they express it is themselves. You are truly compassionate and accepting, OP, and that is fantastic. But if you feel you're the only one who wants to make big steps... it's probably because you are.

Being trans* is difficult. It is dangerous. Especially for mTf trans* people. There is the plite of realizing you will more likely face violence, aggression, loss of job (as it is legal in most states to fire trans* people), abuse, rape... the list goes on and on.

I think people need to remember a few points here. What makes someone trans* is NOT their transition. For example, my partner who is a cis-female can come out to me as a trans* male. And she can STILL be trans* and NOT transition. She can still use her birth name, pronouns, etc. And that is fine! That does not invalidate her identity in the slightest! And the SAME goes for your boyfriend.

tl;dr, you can still be trans* and present as your gender assigned at birth.

It does not mean he needs help, intervention, etc. What he does with his gender presentation is up to him.

It is great that you are supportive. But maybe you need to give the control in this situation back to him.