Nobody in chat and just had to talk to someone. I really have no idea what i'm doing now or after this is typed. My parents and family friends came over yesterday and are still here.They were so happy to seee each other last night, but did nothing but talk about it all and cry. THen they want to go for a walk. I went cause they wouldn't leave me alone about it. I left them in the walk and went back to my house. I rode my bike fast and angry and depresees, scared and lonely and going to ride into the 40 Arpent and let the water mocassins eat me alive. I failed at that. I hite a hole in the streeet with no man hole cover anf flew head first over my bike. i stayed in the street to the sun came up. My wrist is swollen and hurts and scrapes and brusies. Why couldn't it have worked. I walked back to my trailer and smelld breakfast food. I m not hungry so went in the house. I scraped foam from the swindows and swept up. Tracy stopped by to talk about Irvan. She jsut found out and upset. Fema came by wants me out of trailer by april 1st. I got the letter from them and they want the money back. My mom is crying agin all day. Ronnie and Betty went to see other people and coming back later. Tres' is digging a hole in my yard. He says i need a pond. My dad is laying down hurting from the surgery. And im dont know what to do about anything. i have another night to go with them all and want them to go,but want them to stay. I dont know when ill see them again. i want to cry so hard and cant make a tear. Im dried up and gone. my mind has gone blank again. im sorry i cant think no more.