I belong to another site and this is something I found there. You have got to get away. Please oh PLEASE don't become me. Here is what was posted.

I put (*) by the things that apply to me. I hope you can see you in some of these and get away while you can. Or I hope you do not see you in any of these statements and you never EVER do.

//begin quote// "This came straight from the Domestic Violence Crisis Center in my area's Website. I hope it helps you!!Why People Stay This was from my local Domestic Violence Center's website"

"People who stay in violent relationships undergo gradual steps of reasoning to reconcile the violence in their minds. The reasons a victim stays may change as the violence in the relationship progresses.

At first he/she stays because:
he/she loves him/her
* he/she believes she/he will grow up or change
* he/she believes he/she can control the beatings by doing as he/she says; cleaning the house, keeping the children quiet, having dinner on time, etc.
he/she believes that he/she can convince him/her that he/she loves him/her (and end his/her jealousy)
* he/she believes it is his/her duty to make the relationship work
he/she believes he/she can reason with him/her
he/she believes him/her when he/she says that he/she is sorry and won't do it again
he/she's embarrassed for him/her and/or himself/herself, so he/she seldom seeks help
* he/she's afraid of what will happen if the police get involved

Later a victim stays because:
* he/she loves him, but less
* he/she hopes he/she will change or get help
he/she is under pressure from family or friends to stay
he/she believes he/she loves and needs him/her
he/she is afraid to be alone
* he/she believes he/she can't support him/herself
* he/she believes his/her promises that he/she will change and that they'll start living the life he/she dreams of, that he/she will get counseling, that he'll stop abusing drugs or alcohol, etc.
* he/she is confused
he/she is increasingly afraid of his/her partner's violence and may see lethality in his/her out of control behaviors

Finally he/she stays because:
* fear: he/she has become tremendously powerful in his/her eyes
he/she threatens to kill him/her or the children or his/her family
* he/she has developed low self-esteem
* he/she believes no one can love her/him
he/she believes he/she can't survive alone
he/she is very confused and feels guilty: "he/she cares, he/she beats me, I must be bad, I must deserve this, I don't know why"
* he/she becomes depressed and immobile. Decisions are difficult, sometimes even impossible for him/her to make.
* he/she believes he/she has no control over his/her life
* he/she feels hopeless and helpless
he/she believes he/she has no other options
* he/she has developed serious emotional or physical problems
he/she becomes suicidal and homicidal

Well that is me in a nut shell. Yet I continue to to stay. I can't think for myself. I do what I am told. I can't decide what to do, I know what to do but the fear keeps me here, I guess.

At the time a year ago when this was first written I couldn't read that list. Now a year later I can read this and own some of this stuff.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME: That the Lord would give me the guidance to make decisions I need to. That he will give me the stregnth to deal with my choices. That he will give me the sanity to live with my decisions or that he will intervene and turn things completely around and that he will show my husband a new way of doing things.

We are in T together at the moment, so that is a positive, but it still doesn't change the circumstances. " //end quote//

Please don't let this become you. This is me and I have 3 kids. Be careful my friend.