I completely understand being scared. I know this is not a popular opinion and most people don't understand but I have almost a phobia of pregnancy. I can't help but think of it as a parasite feeding off what I eat, causing nausea and using my body as a toilet. It creeps me right the eff out. Add in that bipolar runs in our family and I've seen first hand the damage that my bipolar mother did to me and I cannot take the chance that I would be like her. I also would feel guilty for bringing another life into this already overcrowded world. So through luck and careful planning I've made it to 37 with no kids.

I wish you all the luck in the world in overcoming this fear if that is what you want.