Where there is abuse, one should NEVER go into couples counseling; I did that and it was a disaster......The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life and explains why couples counseling should never happen when one is being abused. The abuser needs to go ALONE to work on his issues. Unfortuntely, I learned that (as you did) too late. Unfortunately most therapists are ignorant about this issue. I told the now x he couldn't go with me anymore and continued by myself.