*Trigger warning*

I think you seem to be doing really well with the 60 mins, it's keeping you super focused on what's important. I also wonder when your T said the hand holding felt sexual that she's confusing the feeling for sensual.

We seem to all lump in sexual and sensual as being a similar thing, me included, i'm not sure i'm super clear or comfortable with it either but i've read that for a nursing infant and for the mother too that it is a sensual experience. Some women report feeling aroused by breast-feeding and feel really guilty and sick about it and stop breast-feeding their child because of it but as it turns out that feeling is connected to oxytocin flooding a woman's system during breast-feeding to enable milk to flow, to bond with her offspring and it's the same hormone that also gives us orgasm and contractions during labour so it's easy to get confused by physiological response and what it means.

Maybe hand holding triggered something for her, maybe there was a sensuality to it that we are not used to having with anyone other than our mothers in infancy and then our sexual partners. No one else gets that close to us anymore in modern society. We are touch deprived. And we assign meaning to touch feeling good as either infantilising or maternal or sexual. That's a very narrow band of definition to live by.