omg I just realized something as I was writing in my journal. at the beginning of the session she asked me if my week was so horrible because she was away. I said that it probably would have been better if she had been around. I bet she was completely horrified by that . that I was becoming to attached and she needed to back off. I bet this is why boot camp T appeared .instead of compassionate T . stupid me I know better .I will tell her next time I see her that I realized that that was a mistake and that it had nothing at all to do with her being gone at all . that that was something I had just thought of when she asked me that (the truth).I know the damage is already done but maybe then she will not be so scared of me or repulsed. I really can just be a S T U P I D head at times. I was so upset I was not thinking .