I am sorry, but I somehow agree with silentvoid. Perhaps not changing to another T but perhaps telling him that it made you uncomfortable. There is two ways he can react - either take it as a cue to probe into whether it makes you uncomfortable because of what you have experienced and your feelings about that - OR, apologizing for causing anxiety and confusion and assure you to take it slower or let you initiate when you want to talk about it.
Even though I perfectly understand what Skeezyks says and support the explanation, what you wrote even makes me uncomfortable. I am a CSA survivor too and in one of my therapy sessions I told my therapist that a man I was about to sleep with stopped what we were doing and started to cry because he saw the scars on my thighs (not from SH)
She sat there in silence for a while and asked if I was comfortable to tell her where the scars came from. I told her I wasn't ready, she said ok and never asked me about it again until I brought it up myself and then it was fine.
Especially with survivors of sexual abuse it is important to respect the client's need for absolute safety, control and power over a situation.
It doesn't seem like your T has given you that control, he took control and it sounds like he pushed you into something that made you very uncomfortable and confused and somehow powerless.
(As we survivors felt when abuse happened)
In my opinion we don't need to be pushed to heal in the same way we were abused, but in the complete opposite way: Staying in control, be respected, be empowered.
Only my opinion though, coming from my own experience. Reading what you described reminded me of my own abuse. Even a memory of something I experienced came to my head. That just doesn't seem right... Not with a therapist who deals with survivors like us.
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*** Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.***
Mahatma Ghandi
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