I'm really scared right now..
I'm affraid I'm not able to build healthy relationships anymore.
I try to push everyone away because I'm so scared of being rejected.
Please, is there anyone who can tell me what to do? An article to read or something, just anything

I don't see the point in life with such a malfunction..
It feels like I've been pushed too far to recover. And if I would be able to recover, I fear I don't have the strength and the will anymore..