You didn't come right out and state you are contemplating suicide, but it certainly sounds that way to me, and medications mixed with alcohol can be deadly.

I hope you will take a moment to put the bottle down and call your doctor or the local ER or a suicide hotline and talk with someone about this.

It would be a pity for you to do something you can't undo!

Besides ... If you kill yourself there will be a hole in the Universe where you are supposed to be and that will be a very sad thing!