Dear T,

When you asked me that question tonight, I felt put on the spot. I'm not so good with that on the spot ****, you know that though So what I meant to say was this: I don't find it annoying at all. I find it endearing. It hurts sometimes to see it because it reminds me that I'm me and never will have that. At least not like that.....not in the way I needed it. I don't want to make it out to be all bad though because I'm sure he had his moments and there are some memories that were good enough. But part of me feels sad about it. And jealous. And just lonely. And I wish you could be that way with me but you can't and it would be weird anyway. But part of me longs for that.....yeah.

I'd say all that if I wasn't such a coward

Thank you for caring enough to ask things like that. I mean, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. I really don't.......