I was too embarrassed to ask her at the time but I remember her words. This was the worst session I've had in 4 years with my T. She said "you're crossing over. I see it and I feel it." This was after I tried holding her hands but I think I started blushing because I was embarrassed. I'm not sure what happened before that in the session. We may have been doing SE, somatic experiencing. I just blocked it all out! But I know that holding her hands did not feel sexual. So, I think she meant that instead of feeling safe, it felt sexual to me. Maybe she was right, but I felt like sinking into the floor. My T never talked to me like that before and I couldn't handle it. I think she also said "you have to get that from your H, not from me." We had held hands for months prior to this session, so she knew it never triggered me.

More recently, she told me that she had been triggered then. I think it had to do with her unstable marriage which I didn't know about it at the time.

Maybe I should google those words. I still get embarrassed to think she said that, even though we talk openly about sex and about my feelings for her. Sorry for such a long answer to a seemingly simple question, but you know I like to write! Also, that session is still haunting me though I forgive my T. I think that's one of her mistakes, but in this kind of therapy, we both have to be honest with how our "parts are feeling".

I just googled the phrase "crossing over" and all I found are references to genetic/sexual crossing over that isn't relevant. Maybe she meant "crossing over the line" as to what was appropriate or therapeutic. I think that must be it. I may have asked her at the next session but I apparently "forgot" her answer.