Quote:
Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart
Thanks for all those who replied. I am so glad I am not alone in my thinking. HKlove, I am trying to go along with the treatment plan, but I can't seem to battle the depression. It drags me down, keeps me in bed, not wanting to go out into the world.
I wish I could battle this better. That I had the weapons to beat my mind at its own horrible game. This is my life we are dealing with and I just feel like I am losing. I even quit my job because I couldn't fight any more.
I just want to break free. Be normal. Go out and do things. Be a part of society. It doesn't seem like that is in the cards for me though. I feel like I am stuck here in "this" place of darkness.
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I'm getting a very different feel for your thread since your OP.
I know what its like to be trapped inside your own head, to act severely depressed, but not really feel it, almost like a bad habit...
I too found it frustrating, wanting to engage in life but not being able to. The first time it was my meds keeping me too low and I returned back to the land of the living as soon as I fixed that. The second time, I was emerging from a year long severely depressive episode, but like I said, old habits die hard.
It took me a few months to learn how to not behave in a depressed manner any longer. It took lots of little pushes and making myself feel uncomfortable, but I eventually got the hang of being engaged in life again.
I'm glad I was so persistant, and that it helped me, the alternative was like watching myself die in slow motion.
I hope you find a way out soon, because your posts don't sound like someone who's "naturally depressed" or someone who's ok with being depressed. You sound like someone who wants more from life, I hope you get it.
