Hi. My name is Josh. I have suffered from depression since I was 12 years old. Things started getting really out of control when my mom left at the age of 16, it was shortly after that I attempted suicide the first time. I have attempted 3 other times on separate occasions, have been hospitalized for such, I'd be good for a year or two, bam, depression. My depression has ruined so many things in my life. My relationship with my parents are strained, I am unable to hold down a job longer than 3 months...my depression is parylizing, I feel sick and drained all the time. I just have this overwhelming, constant desire to die. I've grown up all my life feeling like I don't belong in this world. Life just feels like an awkward shuffle to same place...counting down the hours and days...anyways my major problem is I am very depressed right now. I am unemployed, things are so bad for me, I am literally on the verge of homelessness. Things have gotten that bad. And honestly, if it comes to homelessness, I will kill myself. I just don't know what to do.....