Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
I don't think you addressed it as thoroughly as you need to because I don't think you were clear with your T about the immediacy of your need. I never saw you post that he refused to discuss the topic, just that he didn't think it was necessary at this time.
My concerns are the degree to which your old T's behavior is aberrant, and the intensity of your perception of your need for her. I hope your T can dissuade you from the path you're on.
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I feel that I need to have a healthy relationship and the one I have with her is the only one that feels like that. I should add that for the years I've known her I have gone as much as a year without seeing or contacting her and when we talk, even now, it is infrequent. I initiate the contact but it's usually only once every couple of weeks or months. This is the most I've been in touch with her in a long time and it's due in large part to my move to another state for a professional opportunity and my unhappiness with how things have been here and the the fact that I will soon be returning home for another opportunity. You are correct, her conduct is aberrant and I mentioned this to her during our talk last weekend. i told her that it has really changed me and I need to process that because while I don't expect or desire the same treatment from current therapists, her behavior sometimes confounds me.
I know she genuinely cares about me thought; I just think this relationship is not what either of us expected. I get why it is generally not recommended by the APA and other orgs. At times I am very confused. I admit that I don't think my ex T understands this totally or maybe feels she can control the uninteded consequences. She says she is being advised by other therapist and has been since she decided she cared about me.
I plan to discuss this with her in person when I return home,
As far as my issues with my current T, I discussed them with him today and will post an update on that thread momentarily.