Your mom and that book WTH? Unacceptable behaviour on her part.

When I first started therapy, I thought it to be very cruel. It felt as though it gave me a taste (and just a taste) of what should have been. I wondered if I had just been better never knowing. It actually made me a whole lot sadder and angrier.

Well, as it turns out, those were feelings that I had feel. It's grief over our losses (which is funny because how can you lose something you never had, but therapy highlighted I never had it).

Some years ago I could have written your post word for word.

So. Does it get better? WOuld it help you to know that today I am filled with only gratitude at the way my therapist treated me? That it makes me happy to know that kind of kindness can actually exist? That it's improved my life and my relationships immensely because that kind of kindness and caring have to be present in some form in those I love now? That I can give it to myself?

It's just human nature to want *more* of something that's good, whether it's a feeling or a relationship or a food. We're hardwired that way. Try not to be so hard on yourself for what it instrinsic to us all. In this case, I think it's a natural extension of the fact that, when treated with kindness, that you still can respond. That part of you is not dead. Those around you haven't killed it.

In that way - you won. Your heart may be broken right now, but it still works. Part of it is still open to the best this world has to offer.

So... does it get better? You bet. Does the "wanting" go away. It does.