Hi Skeezyks, OK I've got to really apologize if I'm way out here, but it's sounding to me like your twin is a part of you that you've found it really hard to acknowledge, face, accept, feel empathy for??
I'm sure all of us have denied/buried/tried to disown hopes, dreams, fears, pain, desires, wishes before because if they came to the surface............and particularly with your background, your "indoctrination" into...........it must be SO hard to "stand up" and recognize/believe that "different" doesn't have to be "wrong", "bad", "abnormal".
And the views you have of this other part yourself are as likely to be as much other people's views. Other people who just can't face/accept there can be far more colors/differences/diversity in the world than they have chosen to live with/see as "normal" and that can be a very good/empowering/positive thing.
So do you think maybe the labeling of "mentally ill", "psychotic" you're putting on that part of yourself may be just a little "harsh", the labels other much less enlightened people (to put it diplomatically!! ) may use.
To me that part of you seems more to be crying out for the compassion, empathy, understanding, acceptance, love that it deserves. Maybe it's expressing torture, confusion, pain, distress, frustration, anger, discomfort..........but being locked away, being disassociated with, being "looked down on" has to hurt.
So maybe allow that part of you the freedom to breathe, the freedom to be itself, the freedom to live, the freedom to feel and be "whole", the freedom to be a "true" and valued part of who you are.
I'd say that part of you, as well as the whole of you, really needs understanding, acceptance and caring for the unique mix of special, individual qualities that make you YOU.
And while it's really important that you can begin to do that for yourself, you know that we are here to give you that as well!!
Here for you
Alison