I feel comfortable enough in this forum now to talk about this and I would appreciate your thoughts on this topic - all thoughts, positive or negative!

As some of you have gathered, I am struggling with cancer. I have been diagnosed a few years ago and after many ups and downs it has become clear that my treatment now is only to slow down the process a little but the prognosis is pretty straight forward.
My T knows this of course and she is incredible with me.
I have found that my issues with my past (CSA) suddenly become secondary as it is not so much about learning how to live a healthier life any more but about being free from secrets and memories. I found that speaking out loud some of the memories can take the power away from them even if I don't discuss my feelings about it over and over as I would have if my situation was different. Somehow the situation forces me to focus much more on what I really want to achieve and low and behold, it's working! So that's good and my T is great in helping me work through the secrets.

But I also know my T struggles a lot with my situation. The last few times I saw her, she came to my home because I couldn't get to her office. She saw me at my lowest, most crappy looking, weakest state and it has made her cry a few times. She apologized for not being professional and I assured her that it's absolutely fine, because the human emotion of sadness is a much more real response to me right now than absolutely remaining professional.

But I find myself thinking... do I have the responsibility to "protect" her a bit more from this? How selfish am I allowed to be in a situation like this? Are T's trained in working with clients like me? And how does it affect the therapy? What is important right now?

Your opinions?