"I'm really not sure I can admit that, even with the relative anonymity of this forum."

Weigh the pros and cons OBJECTIVELY of opening up, if you can.

What's the worst that can happen?
Will you feel any relief if you do?

Remember that there is no judgement here.

Or, if you feel safe with someone here then ask if it's okay to PM them.
I did and I'm so glad of doing so.