There's a difference between firm boundaries and rigid boundaries. Your current T has rigid boundaries and that's not anymore healthy than weak boundaries.

I actually don't think you have a massive problem with boundaries, hypersensitive about them yes but not completely unable to understand them or constantly challenging them. To me contacting a T out of session isn't a boundary breach. It's information. It should tell a T that you are overwhelmed, that you are in need of something and that she needs to find out what that something is.