I know the feeling of reading something and feeling thrown back by it. It happens when there is much at stake for you if things are this way or that way.

My experience showed me that it doesn't actually matter what any article or PhD or anyone says, except you and your T. Okay, the ethical codes that your T abides by, too. But that's it.

There are so many variations in thinking about therapy among the different schools. Even within one school of therapy, there are so many differences between the approaches of different therapists. It actually often happens that therapists disagree with one another. Even those who have the same overall mindset will still disagree about some matters. Now I don't know about your T, but the ethical codes for therapists in my community aren't really too specific. They convey the main ideas about boundaries, but except for the ones which are really important (no sexual or financial exploitation, basically no harm, confidentiality), the rest of them are really more principles and guidelines. Now, every therapist has his or her own boundaries. Something which may be fair game to one may indeed be a non-negotiable boundary for another. So basically what your T thinks is what will have an impact on your therapeutic relationship, not what some article on Psychology Today reads.