Have you considered psychodynamic therapists? Mine is and at first meeting i was worried she wasn't specifically a trauma therapist and that maybe she wouldn't be able to handle my stuff, it was my only reservation about her, also i suppose i worried that she seemed too nice and that i'd walk all over her. Hahaha biggest mistake ever, she's no walk over, she does have firm boundaries, but is also open to discussion about them and she's never ever shamed me for breaking no contact rules. In fact for now she seems resigned to the fact i am probably going to contact her outside of crisis moments regardless.
She might not be specifically super trained in trauma the way my last one was but she is psychodynamically trained and really understand attachment theory and how our attachments affect our behaviours. She's super focused on our relationship and my relationships with others.

It's interesting that the T you saw today said about trauma therapy having super firm boundaries at first, i wonder if that's why my last trauma T seemed sooooo clinical and far away. That approach did not work for me either.