You can not help someone by enabling their destructive lifestyle or bad habits. They won't change anything they do unless there are consequences to their actions, and sometimes even that isn't enough. people have to want to change, no one can do it for them. Your kids don't need to see you condoning and supporting this lifestyle of addiction and affairs and such either. Children learn from their environment. If they see you take a stand against it, then there are more likely to know it is unacceptable and hopefully not follow in the mothers path.