Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
4,168 hugs given
|
Mar 14, 2014 at 02:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadAtLove
To answer questions:
I apologized, she half accepted, so I just asked her to decide if she accepted later. She said we'll continue the conversation later. This is while at dinner with a drink and food soon to be served.
I do have mannerisms that piss her off. Since day one: I act aloof and disinterested, even though I am. I just don't know how to be natural and all the way open. It's a problem I've always had. I don't do it to "be cool", it's just more to reserve myself and remain invulnerable.
She asked to meet my friend mostly, but it was mutual I guess. This brings up an interestting point: she said last night "your friend wasn't what I expected; I wasn't impressed. He just acted all cool and you two didn't include me in conversations. It was just like when I first met you and your friends. You all act too cool and distant." I guess it's a thing I do and I gravitate to guys who do it too.
This girl is a no BS type girl, and she drops my *** when I get like that. I've made strides, but in a drunken, fraternizing stupor I slipped up. She is very busy/stressed and I was her only recreational time that week and that's what she was exposed to.
I effed up. Shes not ready to forgive. She is very busy with work and I'm unnecessary stress right now. She needs to build other relationships with friends and family. I just hope I didn't open the door for some other guy to get in. I'll just have to live with it, I guess.
She does get emotional, even when we're in good standings. Her dog died a few months back and she went no contact for like 2-3 days. I thought she hated me or lost interest, but she was just busy with family and mourning. She forces herself to have highstandards: work out twice a day, work 15 hour days 7 days a week, seek approval of superiors, etc. She acknowledges it but doesn't know how to stop. When I offer suggestions she gets very pissed and cuts me off. I want to be her source of stress release, and have made strides but she relapses.
I'm very leisurely and she liked how she felt when she relaxed, but then she gets anxious after a while. Conversely, I get more proactive when I'm with her, and I've grown as a result of her presence.
|
This sounds like a lot of push/pull from her. When you mentioned that she needs to spend more time building up relationships with friends and family, is this something she said, or your observation and wish for her?
Granted, you noted that you come across, as distant and aloof, many of your statements imply that she pulls a disappearing act? As though, she's afraid to get close?
6 months, is quite an amount of investment, in a relationship. Do you, normally communicate, on a daily basis?
|
|
Reply With Quote
|