I didn't want to start a new thread about this so I'm updating here as usual. I went to session and I showed up a bit later - couldn't help it, I'm so stupid. I kind of froze in front of the building. Shall I go or not? Then I thought, Ambra you're not graduating - it's just your therapist, don't be stupid!
The first half went on about some cool job offers I got and I'm really happy about. I wondered if it would be of any use but then I decided that since I don't usually get satisfying feedbacks outside that room, it would be nice to also share the good things with her. It actually helped me to feel a bit more like a proper person in front of my t.
I then said how much I'm struggling. She knew it. At the end of the session T told me "you are smart, nice, you got these job offers, you worked hard and there's much more, and you did so well, I'm proud of you. You fall sometimes: it happens and doesn't nullify the work you've done" (I really didn't expect to be told this, it felt good). Then we worked on a sort of plan on how to overcome those feelings and t told me to keep going and that she is there anyway. I didn't vent as I thought I would.
I always have sooo many things left unsaid but I'm ok with it: I love the fact that I don't talk to a statue but that she helps so actively. And I wonder how I could be so scared to go to my session..