Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycanthrope
Based on what you've said, I get the impression she isn't interested in you any more. You seem to be the one doing all the pursuing. You messed it up and it looks like it's over. Despite me saying you messed up, you did apologise, you bought her a gift and you've made an effort to patch things over. You've done all you can do and if she does dump you over this ( being rude when drunk, being a bit aloof), then I think there's more going on with her because it seems like an excuse.
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Possibly. Lots of push/pull in this relationship. Earlier on, I was the one doing all the pulling. At a minimum, she's clearly questioning whether or not to continue this. I think all I can do is wait.
Also, I haven't over-pursued. I was more interested in apologizing to someone I disrespected.
Very possible something else is going on. Time will tell. I'm sure if we overcome this, we'll be stronger than ever. If we don't overcome it, I will have learned a valuable lesson.
I don't doubt she's lost interest, it's just a matter of how much. This happened before and her interested bounced back stronger than ever afterwards. I left her alone for a while to sort herself out and treated her like we were back to square 1, a new couple.
Expect the worst, hope for the best. Ball is in her court.
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
This sounds like a lot of push/pull from her. When you mentioned that she needs to spend more time building up relationships with friends and family, is this something she said, or your observation and wish for her?
Granted, you noted that you come across, as distant and aloof, many of your statements imply that she pulls a disappearing act? As though, she's afraid to get close?
6 months, is quite an amount of investment, in a relationship. Do you, normally communicate, on a daily basis?
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This is the second time she's disappeared. And only after I was a d*ck to her. Is it an excuse? Maybe. Maybe, she really wants to decide what she wants.
She says stuff like "me and ____ (best friend) haven't seen eachother in 14 days. We've been counting. I'm dying to see her." (in a pleasant tone). She talks about how she feels bad she has dismissed certain friends due to lack of time: I basically consumed all her free time.
I'm her 2nd boyfriend ever. Her first relationship was 5 years. She says she's never liked anyone else as much as me since him.
If she is afraid to get close, it's because we reach critical points in a relationship (exclusiveness, meeting parents, etc.) and it's obviously a big commitment to dive in. She "over thinks" a lot, as she self-describes and I've observed.
She needs me to let her breathe, I think. I've got to be a challenge again. It's just hard when you really like the comfort, even if it causes you to be complacent. I need to learn to stay away from complacency.