Hi....I have not read any of your previous posts, so I don't "know" you.

From this post, I get the impression that you are intelligent, poetic, well spoken and on the very precipice of breaking free of your current life and embarking on a new one.
You seem willing to take chances in life if you could just get a little push.

I don't see that you have a support system at home to give you that push. But clearly you are brave enough to jump.

Sometimes we just need to ask ourselves "what's the worst that can happen? Can I pick myself up and try again if things don't work out to perfection?" It seems to me that you are doing that very thing by coming back here....you have picked yourself up and are trying again.
Next time you feel the urge to take a chance on anything, know that you can deal with what happens....because you know how to reach out.