Pretty much sums it up in the title.

T has given me 'homework'... to ask 5 people to write down 3 characteristics and one constructive criticism. Fine in itself but I am very limited as to who to ask... and so I asked 3 work colleges who know me well enough if they would.

Accepted, and I knew to expect banter which I received... that in itself wasn't a problem but I'm very self conscious and one of them was discussing with me what he thinks... he started listing negative characteristics... disorganised, easily distracted, sensitive, devils advocate, bored and others... I took it on the chin to start with, but he's been repetitive with it over the last couple of days and I could feel the compulsion to beat myself up starting to mount.

This afternoon, all my motivation just shut down and I started to drift into depression/something... he did what he could to reverse it... but I let myself down... had been trying so hard to keep on top of things and it just seemed to collapse in on itself.

Not his fault, part of the problems I have and he was not to know that... I think most who know me see the hard layer I guess I construct... but it all went tits up and the intrusive thoughts rushed in.

Wondering if it was a mistake to do this homework... I beat myself up enough as it is... don't really require people confirming and telling me what I already think.

Probably sounds stupid in itself... but triggers are triggers and it's hit hard