Whether you've not done it in a month, six months, a year or two years does the desire ever stop creeping into your mind late at night when the world seems so much more awful and the anxieties of your day are boiling over? That voice in your head telling you that you know exactly how to make everything feel better. I literally cry sometimes because all I want to do is that, but I know logically I just shouldn't do it. It's too hard to stop once you start, and it's too hard to hide in college.... and yet, I just feel like I NEED to. I'm afraid I'll be weak and give in one of these nights. I never want to feel as awful as I did the day my guidance counselor called my mom to tell her that I've been cutting and then when my mom came home that night, walked in on me in the shower, and yelled at me to no end about how stupid I was and how embarrassed she was. I told her I would never do it again. It was a lie. But God, how small I felt that day. And the only thing I wanted to do to feel better was hurt myself some more. It's pathetic. How do you guys stay on track when you're tempted?