Hi all. I thought this would be the best place to get advice about this. I've recently been doing more "minor" forms of SI - bruises and such. But on the last few days I've had a huge urge to cut, to give myself some sort of escape. The only reason I haven't is because I failed and the failure was enough to lessen the urge for a while, gave me a chance to get some help.

I have told some of those closest to me, but I don't know how to handle it. I know my bf is worrying sick about it right next o me, and I never know what to say. I desperately don't want to hurt him but I know that it's tearing him apart and I haven't actually even "done" it.

I just need some sort of escape from feeling like this, from beating myself up if I'm ever happy. I don't deserve happiness, I deserve only failure and pain.