Hey CE. I'm so sorry. It sounds like a terribly uncomfortable mental space. I have had similar intense transference type attachments that took years to abate (though they each eventually did.) Would it be helpful to work on the original loss or insecure attachment that might be the template for your feelings about Madame T? I'm thinking about the mother-shaped hole of which you once wrote so heartbreakingly. Is it possible that in fully mourning that original loss, the intensity of your transference feelings could lessen?

Finally is there anything you do regularly, like maybe a sport or a hobby, that is totally absorbing for you and that gives you a bit of respite from your thoughts of Madame T?