I always remember the guilt that I felt afterwards and it alway overrode the urge, because deep down I knew that temporary relief wasn't worth a lifetime of misery.

Practically, the strongest shock that stalled my urges was jumping in the shower and turning it on full freezing mode - you wouldn't believe how affective that is! However, nothing is more efficient than changing your thoughts and your perception of yourself. Did you know that the only way to be happy in life comes from the internal decision that you create? turning the energy that these urges hold in to something more productive and beneficial to you is doable, something that you won't feel worse and worthless and pathetic for afterwards but rather a happier, healthier and stronger person. Try making those internal changes first and you'll see a difference.

I'm sorry your mum reacted that way, it really was the worst way for someone with si issues to react! Forgive her for those who understand don't intent do hurt or make you feel pathetic - it comes from hurt and worry and confusion and projects out wards the wrong way. But most of all, forgive yourself. You are a strong person for fighting this. Never let yourself or anyone else belittle yourself. Xx

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