Today I had my first session of EMDR. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to feel anything. But I felt something and it was really weird. I had a laughing fit at one point and felt really dumb. I hate being out of control, especially with someone closely scrutinizing me. I felt almost like I was in a trance, really relaxed, body really heavy. I think I still have trouble feeling the hurt feelings. For about half an hour after I left I still felt like I was in a trance or drunk or stoned. I guess I was happy that it actually did something to me. I still don't trust that there will be any long lasting effects but we'll see.