Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon
Yes, so what - if it works for you, that's the only important thing, and I see nothing naïve in that world view. Although there are many alternatives to the two versions here. I try to keep in mind that compliments are more about the speaker's view and belief of who I am than who I actually am, and so in a sense I can both accept and question them.
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That is a highly intelligent response and I agree.
Compliments, positive enforcement is what shapes the healthy parts inside us. Kids need to be told they did something good, when they achieved something or even out of no other reason but to show love. If no one ever tells us we are beautiful, how would we know that we are? If no one ever falls in love with us, how would we know that we are lovable? If no one ever told us we are smart, funny etc.. how would we know? Our view of ourselves is shaped by what we have been told much more than what we observe. And unfortunately a lot of times we have been told negative things about us.
So every compliment is a gift, I believe.. even if we can use it to learn more about ourselves or the person who gives it.