At my last session my T asked me what's behind my difficulty in opening up. After I thought about it, I told him there were several reasons, one of which is that I want him to like me. Not romantically, but I don't want to be that client he dreads, doesn't feel connected to, or isn't showing the growth he would like.

He's psychodynamic, so sometimes he has a lot to say. What he said in response made perfect sense and it felt so good to hear him say it. He explained that almost all clients crave a connection with their therapists and they want to know that in some way they are special or important in their therapist's eyes and that maybe (just maybe) we're special enough that they will look forward to our appointment that day. He went on to say that many clients idealize their therapists to the point that any non-neutral reaction from our therapists hold tremendous meaning. He also said that if our therapists, who are supposed experts in human behavior, accept us for who we are or show us in any way that we're special, can be very powerful and heartwarming. He went on to say that he understands it because he himself idealized his therapist and knows how it feels to want to be accepted by him, cared for and seen as an individual, not just a client in the system.

It was a great moment in my therapy to hear my T verbalize everything I was feeling, all from a simple sentence, "I want you to like me." He totally gets it

So....has your T ever really validated something for you, or does anyone care to chime in on what's it's like to idealize our T's or what it feels like to want to be liked by our T's?