I'm not sure if this is just going to be rambling or if it will make sense but I want to get it written down so here goes! As I was walking out of work yesterday after a meeting with my supervisor, I was thinking about how she always makes me feel like I'm special/important to her, and it felt good. And then it hit me. Wait - it felt good, and I'm LETTING it feel good and not questioning it. I wondered what the difference was. I have felt that sort of thing from others too but in the past had always cut it right off and told myself "I am not special".

What I realized yesterday is that by doing that I'd effectively shut myself off from so much in life, invalidating myself and also invalidating other people and continuing the vicious circle of my childhood. However since my experience on March 2nd where I was able to find and release a lot of pain from back then and subsequently forgiving my mother, I've become open to good things other people might think/say about me. And it feels good to know that. And I'm letting it feel good. Acknowledging my feelings, and letting myself feel them, took a lot of work in therapy but I'm getting there.

I have worked very hard in therapy overall, and it feels so good to say that indeed, this therapy stuff works!!!