Hi misskrome, firstly you are NOT, NOT, NOT "a mistake of nature".
And just a little to try to convince you:
"doing my best to remind myself that people, other than myself, are important, have feelings, insecurities, etc"
"to teach them not to bully other people" Caring about how people should behave towards others.
"Harassing, bullying, hurting because you think you are anonymous is cowardly." Isn't good is it?
"I understand that people have freedom of speech but some people take it too far" Seems a balanced opinion to me.
"People should be nice and considerate of others" Right on there!! doesn't always happen but right on!!
"When I snap out of the anger, they are living, breathing people again and I don't want to hurt them" We'll come to the anger, but the rest.........cool!!
"Being angry is miserable and I do anything I can to get rid of it and go back to being chill and laid-back again"
"I don't want to hurt anyone"
and you said again
"I don't want to hurt anyone"
"I don't want to feel anger"
OK I've selected bits, but those bits ARE there!!! Now I'd say that the underlying problems are the feelings you're having, not you as a person, right??
So let's try to think of things that may help you with those (and sorry but you're going to have to help me too on this!!).
Just some ideas: Have you tried working through things on stress relief, lots of things out there on-line??
Is there anything you could add to your life that may make you feel less stressed in general e.g. activities or yoga (??) ?
Have you tried mindfulness? If you have have you tried it again from different (lots of different) sources? Sometimes the way it's put across can be a bit "alien" (?) not workable, but if you find an approach that can hit the mark for you..........
Have you tried any anger-management courses??
Have you tried going back...and back....and back to a pdoc and saying "Actually........."
Have you tried looking and looking and looking into back-stories of why people might bully........You're absolutely right there's NEVER (!!) an excuse for bullying but some people who do that might have gone through/be going through so much hurt/pain to lead them to do that e.g. suffering real "soul destroying" abuse themselves. Maybe this may help with the amount it effects you personally that little bit more.
Maybe "open your mind" more to different perspectives e.g. is an insult really an insult or can it be interpreted or used a different way??
And, anyway at all you can see your therapist a bit more regularly??
Or even talk to someone about the way you're feeling in between times?? Either in general or if those feelings arise??
Right just some thoughts, but like I said you might need to help me on this one, so if I'm way out there, just let me know and we can talk some more if you want.
But whatever: SAY IT WITH ME (!!), "I AM NOT A MISTAKE OF NATURE".
You just need some help with this and well done on reaching out for that!!
Alison