You sound like you are in a good place right now. I remember reading your posts when I first started coming to this site. I've noticed a big change! You seem so positive and in a better place. I'm happy for you, you are working so hard, and it shows in your posts.

Loosing your Pdoc is a real loss for you. If I remember correctly he was in your life for quite some time right?

I remember when I had to walk away from my first T. I was only with her for two months but it was a loss. I connected with her right away. It's been 5 months now. I feel the peace that comes after loosing a relationship (even though it was short, she helped me..a lot) I have let go.

It sounds like you may be around the same place. I wish you well